And now for something completely different:
And now for something completely different:
Cam Edwards of Cam & Company on NRA news brought up some Daily Kos diarrhea the other night, and I found it pretty informative as to what the left thinks.
The Daily Kos diarrhea is titled “If the NRA really cared about gun rights”, and can be summed up rather quickly by its opening paragraph:
If the NRA really cared about gun rights…they wouldn’t support policies that take away the ability of thousands of people every year to keep and bear arms because they’re f***ing dead. By this simple fact the NRA reveals itself not to have any concern for gun rights or gun owners, but merely to be an advocate for the gun business – a quasi-criminal syndicate of shady industrial corporations for whom the deaths of their customers and innocent bystanders are actually more profitable than keeping them alive.
It gets stupider, but it’s all basically Tim Robbins’ speech from Team America:
As long as the death rate is low enough for people in general to still leave their houses to visit a gun store, murder is all profit for them: It perpetually sows the seeds of fear, insecurity, paranoia, alienation, and rage that bring more people to patronize their business.
Yeah, it’s pretty stupid. In fact, it’s unintentional parody of the left. And here we get to the best part:
The NRA and its fellow-traveler gun anarchy organizations have nothing whatsoever to do with Constitutional rights: They are a priesthood of murder fanatically committed to the promotion of human destruction and suffering, because at their core are businesses that depend on it, and that could not financially survive on the idle interests of hobbyists in a safe and secure America.
That a Daily Kos diarrheaist doesn’t understand natural rights isn’t a surprise. That he (or she, or shim/he-er or whatever) thinks that their rambling “businesses=evil” rant accurately reflects reality is both funny and sad. Funny because it’s ludicrous, sad because it displays such a narrow breadth of mind that’s completely devoid of any receptiveness to data that would disprove or at the very least give pause to such wild-eyed manic hatred and belief in the pure evil of the NRA and people who believe in the natural rights of self defense and the tools that enable those rights. (Troubadour bolded that “Priesthood of Murder”, not me, btw.)
And this brings us to my real point here. Criticizing Troubadour’s rant is sort of like criticizing a North Korean propagandist. They’re either so woefully misguided that you have to pity them, or they’re so absurdly convinced of their own ludicrous crackpot nonsense that all you can do is laugh at them. Besides, Cam already criticized it.
But in this case, Troubadour has unconciously made one of the most badass and fun critiques of the NRA, and totally for the wrong reasons. Troubadour devolves into unwitting self-parody, but a self-parody that’s made utterly sidesplittingly hilarious to me because…
PRIESTHOOD OF MURDER IS SO INCREDIBLY METAL.
The entire diarrheaist diatribe is so over the top that every new phrase is worthy of an album title (or even a band name).
So let’s explore the fictional history of the most metal of all civil rights organizations, the NRA. \m/ d(-_-)b \m/
Priesthood of Murder is obviously the most metal, and the NRA’s signature album. It was both a critical and commercial success, and marked the turningpoint for the NRA from just another metal band into the devastating metal powerhouse that they ultimately have become.
But the NRA’s badass discography doesn’t just begin there. It starts way back with their low-budget garage releases when they first got going:
Those early days were marked with a distinct sound that the metal world hadn’t yet warmed to. But the band stayed dedicated, despite some lineup changes as members settled into their roles and some dealt with the difficulties of a harsh tour schedule.
At least one of their later studio albums would recapture those intial sounds, going back to some of their older work that had matured out on the road, forging an album that showed the same spirit, but greater skill:
The DK criticism gets even more metal as it goes:
For decades this vile exercise in the banality of evil has driven murderous civil wars and genocides throughout the world without any sort of consequences blowing back on them, and now they have brought their agenda home.
NRA, as happens to many bands, found themselves in a rough patch for a year after their harsh touring schedule. After a short break, the band members realized that the regular world they’d returned to off the tour bus wasn’t for them. The returned to the studio with a renewed look at the world after their resting period, and cranked out another of their early albums, now widely regarded as a technical advance for the band as their skills developed:
And their next release was after a very successful European tour, which garnered the band not only attention from an international audience, but spiked interest in the band back in the United States. It included a 2-disc set, the first being the album, and the second being a collection of European-only singles that were previously unreleased in the US.
This is about as metal as it gets:
Now the American people are the grist for their mill, grinding human bodies of all ages to make their bread, and cavalierly dictating terms to the US government in the face of overwhelming outcry from 90% of the citizenry demanding greater regulation and accountability.
It was then that NRA kicked out one of their most popular albums, considered by purists to be the truest-to-form NRA, and widely considered the last of their “early” albums.
That period of early albums was later revisited when they released a collection of studio jams and songs from out-of-print records:
Coming out only 9 months after “Overwhelming Outcry”, the NRA fiercely charged up the charts with their next album:
It just keeps getting better (or worse, if the clown wanted to be taken seriously):
No one is free while the manufacturers of arms can overrule and hijack the Constitution without the consent of the people whose lives they harvest like demons in business suits. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness cannot be protected in a state of deliberately cultivated violence.
While “No One Is Free” proved to be a turning point in the early years with the band’s new guitarist…
…it was widely considered to be eclipsed by the return of their old guitarist from “Fanatically Committed” – but unlike some bands, NRA welcomed the older and kept the newer, though the next album’s title would be an inside joke about the guitar lineup changes:
After another tour, they released a solid live album, with tracks from various tours – both early and late, that was well-received by fans:
But little could prepare the metal world for the NRA’s most recent release, an aggressively badass studio album hailed by metalheads as staying true to form that had just revisited in “Sowing the Seeds of Violence” – and taking new steps from that album, yet again refining their sound:
There’s also been much talk of some alternate projects, including a punk album called “Anarchy Organizations”, and a collaborative effort called “Smirking at Irony”, neither of which have been discussed much by the band in interviews. Rumors have circulated for years about a country-horror themed album called “Cold Dead Hands”, but right now the band’s focus is on their current tour.
Whatever the future may be for NRA, their impressive discography of heavy metal has dominated the charts for years, and shows no signs of stopping. Rock on.
From the People’s Cube:
The filibuster part could just be changed to straight up failed, as apparently the parody was made early. Still hilarious.
From FOX, via Drudge:
BERLIN (AP) — German authorities launched dawn raids on the homes of over 200 suspected tax cheats Tuesday, acting on information gleaned from a CD containing the confidential account details of thousands of Swiss bank clients.
There’s no way that Germans launching mass raids on groups of people they feel are moneygrubbing hoarders… yeah… there’s no way this could go wrong.
Then again, the German police knocking on Timmy Geithner‘s door and asking for “income tax papers, please”, might not be so bad.
There’s a joke about the difference between heaven and hell, and how it’s just a matter of who does what jobs.
In heaven, the English are the cops, the Germans are the engineers, the French are the lovers, the Italians are the cooks, and the Swiss run everything.
In hell, the English are the cooks, the Italians are the engineers, the Swiss are the lovers, the Germans are the cops, and the French run everything.
The gentleman on the left recklessly pointing a gun at his head is vulgar rapper 2 Chainz. The gentleman on the right is rapper Ice T, a.k.a. Detective Odafin “Fin” Tutuola from the TV drama “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.”
I don’t know if he’s “vulgar” – at least moreso than anyone else in his genre – nor does that really make a difference in this context. His music to me sounds like well-produced modern rap, but nothing terribly exciting. In general, I tend to like rap that carries a certain style of heavy beat, is more hip-hop and funk than rap, is intentional parody that’s funny, or is so bad it’s funny, or else inexplicably in Russian, so it all comes down to taste.
But even if his style of rap isn’t to my taste, let’s give credit where it’s due – I think this is a pretty good spontaneous potrayal of an ATF agent. Not bad, 2 Chainz.
Not bad at all, 2 Chainz. But you have to do it with less actual thought as to what you’re doing. It’s evident your finger’s off the trigger, and a real ATF agent would keep his finger on the trigger.
If you’re scratching your head with the muzzle all Plan 9 From Outer Space style and the trigger just is a bit out of reach, that’s cool. Remember, it’s got to be casual stupidity and carelessness, not intentional. Acting is sometimes hard, 2 Chainz.
Our friend Katie Pavlich pointedly pointed out that pointing a gun at one’s own head (and one at the camera) is rather foolish and promotes “reckless and dangerous gun culture in America” and got the kind of response you’d expect from someone who can’t take criticism.
Sure, maybe a serious chastisement punctuated in such a manner as to drive the point home a bit wasn’t something that Ice-T was expecting and that might have put him on the defensive because… well, it’s really stupid and indefensible jackassery. But it seems “F off B” is all he could come up with. Manning up to the criticism and saying “yeah, we were being reckless jackasses” is probably a little bit tougher to do than saying “F off”. Looks like the point was made and it stung a little bit.
However, Twitter really isn’t a venue that’s conducive to explaining how the image of flaunting the danger a firearm by placing it to one’s temple is sometimes seen as a display of courage, albeit a profoundly stupid one. That might be best left to anthropologists to examine why other masculine avenues to prove courage have faded in the last few decades – not only in the rap subculture, but in broader culture as well. To turn this completely on its ear, it’s worth asking why is this considered a good idea or a cool pose? What led to that cultural conclusion? (And again I note that it does exist in broader culture as well.)
To 2 Chainz credit, his finger is off the trigger – good for safety, bad for playing an ATF agent -… though pretty much every other firearms safety rule is ignored.
While we’re on gun safety and bad examples, it’s worth considering that he may be the only one professional enough in that room to carry that gun.
Or maybe 2 Chainz has been learning firearms handling from good ol’ Tex Grebner.
Yes, really. Remember, even a notorious immigration squish like McCain refuses to bow to Orwellian demands to stop using the term “illegal immigrant.” With good reason: Isn’t “illegal immigrant” itself a politically correct alternative to the statutory term “alien”? “Illegal alien” was too harsh and Other-y, so “illegal immigrant” came into vogue.
In truth, part of it is that the government never really defined alien and immigrant and all that very well. You basically have non-immigrants, and immigrants. Immigration law is a hodgepodge of people trying to bring in their pet constituents, and has been for generations. It led to the definitions being rather screwy, and unnecessarily so. But that’s beside the point, as this is about newspeak, not about the quirkiness of legal terms.
Illegal aliens are “undocumented persons” like a drug dealer is an “unlicensed pharmacist” or a murderer is an “unauthorized preemptive euthanasia specialist”.
But that’s fine, if we’re playing word games, when the Second Amendment is ignored further and guns are banned, then…
Our dear leader that resides in the glorious District of Columbia has issued a proclamation concerning the month of April:
All Americans deserve the chance to turn their hard work into a decent living for their families and a bright future for their children. Seizing that opportunity takes more than drive and initiative — it also requires smart financial planning. During National Financial Capability Month, we recommit to empowering individuals and families with the knowledge and tools they need to get ahead in today’s economy.
Listen to our dear leader he knows what he’s talking about look at the financial success of our glorious country basking in deficits numbering in the trillions, by spending more money than his 43 predecessors. The great one wishes to empower his subjects by encouraging each citizen to use his credit with the evil banks, charging their cards to the maximum balance and then when we can no longer afford our debts, cause the evil banks destruction allowing the savior to take control and throw the evil bankers in jail. Don’t worry comrades the leader has more to say!
My Administration is dedicated to helping people make sound decisions in the marketplace. Last year, we partnered with businesses and community leaders to roll out new public and private commitments to increasing financial literacy. We released a new financial capability toolkit to help schools and employers as they launch their own initiatives. And with our College Scorecard and Financial Aid Shopping Sheet, we are working to give families clear, transparent information on college costs so they can make good choices when they invest in higher education. Together, we can prepare young people to tackle financial challenges — from learning how to budget responsibly to saving for college, starting a business, or opening a retirement account.
We also know that too many families are living paycheck-to-paycheck, unable to take advantage of tools that would help them plan for a middle class life. That is why we must build ladders of opportunity for everyone willing to climb them — from a fair minimum wage that lifts working Americans out of poverty to high-quality preschool and early education that gets every child on the right track early. These reforms would encourage the kind of broad-based economic growth that gives everyone a better chance to secure their financial future.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim April 2013 as National Financial Capability Month. I call upon all Americans to observe this month with programs and activities to improve their understanding of financial principles and practices.
JBH is much nicer to the guy. Frankly, Jim Carrey is an idiot who should not be listened to aside from when he’s making funny faces to entertain us. He should stick to that.
Over at HotAir, they note that Ann Coulter is slamming Carrey for being a rich ivory tower liberal, and they throw out some more criticisms of his unfunniness, and that’s all well and good. Let’s not forget, though, that Jim Carrey is scientificaly speaking, an idiot. But as Levar Burton says, don’t take my word for it…
I’ll go to one of the first responses from Google when you type in “Jim Carrey vaccines” (and it’s by a doofus Manbearpig believer, no less):
Living with Jenny McCarthy must have infected Jim Carrey’s brain, because yesterday he posted an astonishingly fallacious antivaccination propaganda piece for the Huffington Post screed.
Carrey is the boyfriend of Public Health Threat Jenny McCarthy and has been an antivaccination advocate for some time. He is a funny guy and a movie star, but I don’t think either of those things should give him a public voice wherein he can mislead people about vaccinations.
The article Carrey wrote has so much wrong in it that it almost qualifies as self-satirizing. His very first paragraph is a textbook example of spin. Basically, a few months ago a special court looked at three cases of potential damage due to vaccinations, and found no evidence of any connection.
Though the same author may have plenty of blind faith in Manbearpig, he’s right when it comes to criticizing Jim Carrey and his belief in vaccines being some alchemical elixir that poisons the body’s humour.
Remember that this new anti-gun Jim Carrey is the same pro-polio, pro-measles Jim Carrey:
His case gets worse from there, and in fact contains this whopper: “We have never argued that people shouldn’t be immunized for the most serious threats including measles and polio.” I suppose that all depends on who he means by “we”; if it includes Jenny McCarthy and their autism organization, well then it’s not exactly the truth, as that is precisely and exactly what they been advocating.
Frankly, the Canadian Jim Carrey really doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on. He mocks things he doesn’t understand, and seeks to explain things away with his own warped reasoning – both in the case of medical science and in the case of firearms ownership.
Jim Carrey’s own crusade (shared with Jenny McCarthy) has led to some 40 times the deaths at Sandy Hook. The Anti-Vaccine Body Count site, which keeps track of preventable diseases that weren’t prevented, notes that there have been over 1121 preventable deaths due to lack of vaccination since 2007, when celebrities like Jim Carrey went on their anti-vaccination campaign.
Jim Carrey’s anti-vaccine propaganda has killed more kids than any murderers in schools.
Jim Carrey has no excuse.
Jenny McCarthy, to her credit, has at least two excuses.