Leftist NRA Hate Jumps the Shark and Goes METAL: Priesthood of Murder!

Posted: May 13, 2013 by ShortTimer in Guns, Humor, Leftists, Music

Cam Edwards of Cam & Company on NRA news brought up some Daily Kos diarrhea the other night, and I found it pretty informative as to what the left thinks.

The Daily Kos diarrhea is titled “If the NRA really cared about gun rights”, and can be summed up rather quickly by its opening paragraph:

If the NRA really cared about gun rights…they wouldn’t support policies that take away the ability of thousands of people every year to keep and bear arms because they’re f***ing dead.  By this simple fact the NRA reveals itself not to have any concern for gun rights or gun owners, but merely to be an advocate for the gun business – a quasi-criminal syndicate of shady industrial corporations for whom the deaths of their customers and innocent bystanders are actually more profitable than keeping them alive.

It gets stupider, but it’s all basically Tim Robbins’ speech from Team America:

As long as the death rate is low enough for people in general to still leave their houses to visit a gun store, murder is all profit for them: It perpetually sows the seeds of fear, insecurity, paranoia, alienation, and rage that bring more people to patronize their business.

Yeah, it’s pretty stupid.  In fact, it’s unintentional parody of the left.  And here we get to the best part:

The NRA and its fellow-traveler gun anarchy organizations have nothing whatsoever to do with Constitutional rights: They are a priesthood of murder fanatically committed to the promotion of human destruction and suffering, because at their core are businesses that depend on it, and that could not financially survive on the idle interests of hobbyists in a safe and secure America.

That a Daily Kos diarrheaist doesn’t understand natural rights isn’t a surprise.  That he (or she, or shim/he-er or whatever) thinks that their rambling “businesses=evil” rant accurately reflects reality is both funny and sad.  Funny because it’s ludicrous, sad because it displays such a narrow breadth of mind that’s completely devoid of any receptiveness to data that would disprove or at the very least give pause to such wild-eyed manic hatred and belief in the pure evil of the NRA and people who believe in the natural rights of self defense and the tools that enable those rights.  (Troubadour bolded that “Priesthood of Murder”, not me, btw.)

And this brings us to my real point here.  Criticizing Troubadour’s rant is sort of like criticizing a North Korean propagandist.  They’re either so woefully misguided that you have to pity them, or they’re so absurdly convinced of their own ludicrous crackpot nonsense that all you can do is laugh at them.  Besides, Cam already criticized it.

But in this case, Troubadour has unconciously made one of the most badass and fun critiques of the NRA, and totally for the wrong reasons.  Troubadour devolves into unwitting self-parody, but a self-parody that’s made utterly sidesplittingly hilarious to me because…


The entire diarrheaist diatribe is so over the top that every new phrase is worthy of an album title (or even a band name).

So let’s explore the fictional history of the most metal of all civil rights organizations, the NRA.  \m/ d(-_-)b \m/

Priesthood of Murder is obviously the most metal, and the NRA’s signature album.  It was both a critical and commercial success, and marked the turningpoint for the NRA from just another metal band into the devastating metal powerhouse that they ultimately have become.

NRA priesthood of murder 2

But the NRA’s badass discography doesn’t just begin there.  It starts way back with their low-budget garage releases when they first got going:

NRA human destruction and suffering cr

Those early days were marked with a distinct sound that the metal world hadn’t yet warmed to.  But the band stayed dedicated, despite some lineup changes as members settled into their roles and some dealt with the difficulties of a harsh tour schedule.

NRA fanatically committed m4 cr

At least one of their later studio albums would recapture those intial sounds, going back to some of their older work that had matured out on the road, forging an album that showed the same spirit, but greater skill:

NRA sowing the seeds of fear cr

The DK criticism gets even more metal as it goes:

For decades this vile exercise in the banality of evil has driven murderous civil wars and genocides throughout the world without any sort of consequences blowing back on them, and now they have brought their agenda home.

NRA, as happens to many bands, found themselves in a rough patch for a year after their harsh touring schedule.  After a short break, the band members realized that the regular world they’d returned to off the tour bus wasn’t for them.  The returned to the studio with a renewed look at the world after their resting period, and cranked out another of their early albums, now widely regarded as a technical advance for the band as their skills developed:

NRA banality of evil cr

And their next release was after a very successful European tour, which garnered the band not only attention from an international audience, but spiked interest in the band back in the United States.  It included a 2-disc set, the first being the album, and the second being a collection of European-only singles that were previously unreleased in the US.

NRA bringing the agenda home cr

This is about as metal as it gets:

Now the American people are the grist for their mill, grinding human bodies of all ages to make their bread, and cavalierly dictating terms to the US government in the face of overwhelming outcry from 90% of the citizenry demanding greater regulation and accountability.

It was then that NRA kicked out one of their most popular albums, considered by purists to be the truest-to-form NRA, and widely considered the last of their “early” albums.

NRA overwhelming outcry cr

That period of early albums was later revisited when they released a collection of studio jams and songs from out-of-print records:

NRA grinding bones cr

Coming out only 9 months after “Overwhelming Outcry”, the NRA fiercely charged up the charts with their next album:

NRA cavalierly dictating

It just keeps getting better (or worse, if the clown wanted to be taken seriously):

No one is free while the manufacturers of arms can overrule and hijack the Constitution without the consent of the people whose lives they harvest like demons in business suits.  Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness cannot be protected in a state of deliberately cultivated violence.

While “No One Is Free” proved to be a turning point in the early years with the band’s new guitarist…

NRA no one is free cr

…it was widely considered to be eclipsed by the return of their old guitarist from “Fanatically Committed” – but unlike some bands, NRA welcomed the older and kept the newer, though the next album’s title would be an inside joke about the guitar lineup changes:

NRA overrule and hijack cr

After another tour, they released a solid live album, with tracks from various tours – both early and late, that was well-received by fans:

NRA demon business cr

But little could prepare the metal world for the NRA’s most recent release, an aggressively badass studio album hailed by metalheads as staying true to form that had just revisited in “Sowing the Seeds of Violence” – and taking new steps from that album, yet again refining their sound:

NRA deliberately cultivated violence cr

There’s also been much talk of some alternate projects, including a punk album called “Anarchy Organizations”, and a collaborative effort called “Smirking at Irony”, neither of which have been discussed much by the band in interviews.  Rumors have circulated for years about a country-horror themed album called “Cold Dead Hands”, but right now the band’s focus is on their current tour.

Whatever the future may be for NRA, their impressive discography of heavy metal has dominated the charts for years, and shows no signs of stopping.  Rock on.

So metal.

  1. sally1137 says:

    Maybe they could do a cover of “Riding the Storm Out” too. Rock on!

  2. JBH says:

    Very nice Shorttimer!

  3. awesomeness.

    btw, wordpress is messing up a couple of the images–they are real small–but if you click on it you can see the full image. Not sure if you can even do anything to prevent that–happens in my posts too.


    • ShortTimer says:

      They’re showing up as wide as the column is for me (those that aren’t just aren’t that wide, but they’re still large). Clicking expands those that are larger yet. Might just be a weird browser issue.

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