Environmental Protection Agency workers have done some odd things recently.
Contractors built secret man caves in an EPA warehouse, an employee pretended to work for the CIA to get unlimited vacations and one worker even spent most of his time on the clock looking at pornography.
It appears, however, that a regional office has reached a new low: Management for Region 8 in Denver, Colo., wrote an email earlier this year to all staff in the area pleading with them to stop inappropriate bathroom behavior, including defecating in the hallway.
In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” in the building, including clogging the toilets with paper towels and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.
Confounded by what to make of this occurrence, EPA management “consulted” with workplace violence “national expert” John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk. He added the behavior was “very dangerous” and the individuals responsible would “probably escalate” their actions.
There are two possible explanations for this.
First explanation is that the EPA is hiring people from the third world. It’s just possible. It’s a common occurence at colleges where third world students are taken in who’ve never used flush toilets, aren’t familiar with indoor plumbing, and aren’t familiar with sanitation at all. Signs like this exist for a reason:
Some places people aren’t used to how toilets work. Even people from places with public sanitation sometimes leave unexpected messes. Some folks south of the US have flush toilets but low pressure, so they’ll throw used paper into a trash can next to the toilet, or just on the floor. People from different parts of Asia and Africa frequently are used to squatting and often don’t know how flushing works. A lot of folks in the Middle East… well, you just don’t use your left hand to shake there. They’re really bad.
So this could be a matter of the EPA having really crappy hiring practices and pulling in people from remote third world areas that have failed to assimilate in even the most basic manner. If you move to some remote jungle place, you learn to dig a cathole and squat. If you move to the civilized world, you learn to use a toilet.
Failure to learn how to poop in your host country is not only disgusting, but in this case these are people with regulatory authority who don’t even know how to shit. If you’ve failed to learn the culture well enough to operate your own bowel movements, you should not be in charge of anything.
Second explanation, and the more likely one: These are filthy, disgusting EPA employees who know how to shit and are willfully crapping everywhere because they’re filthy, malicious animals.
That’s much worse. A cultural misunderstanding that comes from hiring some ignorant dirt farmer out of blind stupidity – and an ignorant dirt farmer who will be responsible for the interpretation of millions of rules and regulations that destroy American businesses with compliance costs – at least that’s just profound stupidity on the part of the EPA hiring department and profound ignorance on the part of the third worlder.
If culturally acclimated EPA employees from modern nations are doing this, they’re just filthy malicious swine who will shit where they work out of hate and contempt for everything.
A citizen petitioning the EPA to stop using their millions of regulations to crush them would be greeted with the stink of EPA peons’ anal creations and probably walls smeared with brown bureaucrat fingerpaint. The EPA-crappers’ own coworkers must live and work in their filth whether diligent employees or lazy cretins. The taxpayers and government funded by those taxpayers that paid for their building and pays their salaries is having steaming clumps of contempt flung at them – and at you if you’re a taxpayer. It’s all because some disgusting primate has made his workplace – the workplace you paid for – into a sewer.
They’re tasked with Environmental Protection, have been granted the absurd authority to control CO2 – every breath you exhale… and they shit in their own workplace.