Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

It’s from the Duffelblog, a comedy/parody military news site, so it is a made up story, but it’s also pretty much true.  For those who missed the setup, read here about Sgt Maj LeHew discussing the failures of trying to put women into combat roles.  Basically they found out that water is wet, despite trying their damnedest to find the opposite under political pressure.

QUANTICO, Va. — Sgt. Maj. Justin LeHew was notified this week that he will receive an other than honorable discharge from the Marine Corps, sources report, after LeHew recently ruined his career by releasing negative study results instead of destroying them.

LeHew, the Sergeant Major of Marine Corps Training and Education Command, made the career ending move last month, by publicly releasing the methodology and results of a study that found gender-integrated infantry units performed worse than all male ones.

In his publicly-visible Facebook post, LeHew said Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus was “way off base” in his comments on women in the infantry, also adding that he was “unfair to women who participated in the study.” Since his remarks, LeHew has been “unavailable for comment,” reportedly chained in the basement of the Commandant’s home, sources say.

“His mistake was announcing facts,” Lt. Gen. Paul K. Van Riper (Ret.) said. “When faced with facts contrary to what the military and Congress wants, the facts must be changed. It’s standard procedure.”

Van Riper was speaking from experience. In 2002 he was the opposing general in the 2002 Millennium Challenge, where he led an inferior foe to victory against American forces. The exercise was started over with rule changes to ensure Van Riper could not win again.

The Millenium Challenge is worth reading about at their link.  While the quotes attributed to Van Riper are made up for humor purposes in the story… the story of the Millenium Challenge is not.

Not all negative results are supressed. A study found that despite an Army Optimism Program, 52 percent of soldiers had low morale. The Army took quick action to solve this problem by lowering the threshold of what it considered an unhappy soldier. Now only 9 percent of soldiers have low morale.

That would be funnier were it not for being basically what’s been done with (as one example) employment numbers by the Obama administration.  Redefine someone who’s unemployed as “no longer participating in the labor force” and then you don’t count them as unemployed.

Climate scientists have discovered a new stage in the scientific method.

1. Make observation
2. Ask a question
3. Develop hypothesis
4. Conduct experiment to test hypothesis
5. Observe results
6. Conclusions
7. Go back to step 5 and adjust data until you get the answers you want
8. Use government authority to prosecute anyone who questions your conclusions and demands

Scientists from several universities and research centers even asked Obama to use the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act (RICO) to prosecute groups that “have knowingly deceived the American people about the risks of climate change, as a means to forestall America’s response to climate change.”

If the conclusions were so self-evident, it wouldn’t be necessary to go after dissenters.  There are anti-vaccination advocates throughout Hollywood and the “crunchy” parent circles, something which easily and simply does cause real, immediate harm by rendering the population more susceptible to diseases (one quick example).  No one goes after them… but of course the point isn’t science for the global warmers, the point is internationalist redistribution of wealth and resources – watermelon environmentalism.

UNITED NATIONS (AP) — The U.S. government says it will begin using the term “sexual rights” in discussions of human rights and global development.

Not really sure I have much on that one.  I’m sure it will turn into more lectures to Kenyans about how they should run their country.

“On one level, it’s symbolic. It also sends a signal to the global community that sexual and reproductive health and rights are a part of the global development agenda,” Serra Sippel, the center’s president, told The Associated Press. She said it follows “huge strides” made under the Obama administration on LGBT issues.

Yup, now instead of LGBT people in Iraq and Syria hanging out in the closet, they’re being thrown off of roofs.  Real improvement.

Speaking at a meeting of the U.N. women’s agency Tuesday, Richard Erdman, a deputy U.S. ambassador to the U.N., said the United States would use the term “sexual rights” for those that are not legally binding.

“Sexual rights are not human rights, and they are not enshrined in international human rights law; our use of this term does not reflect a view that they are part of customary international law,” he said. “It is, however, a critical expression of our support for the rights and dignity of all individuals regardless of their sex, sexual orientation, or gender identity.”

Nevertheless, Sippel described the U.S. decision as “the United States catching up with the rest of the world.”

Not legally binding, not considered human rights, but it’s an expression of support that will agitate a lot of the rest of the world – a lot of the world that the US is not “catching up with” – because most of the world is not very LGBT friendly.  Yay for the SJW finger-wagging.  It will grate on allies and will not make a whit of difference to enemies.

If the objective was to protect the lives of LGBT people in other nations because it were legally binding – say, pushing for nations to not execute gays just because they’re gay – that’d be something else.  Or maybe even a demand to just start with not executing women suspected of adultery, or executing rape victims as adulteresses – those would all be initiatives easy to support  It would be a movement of support for human life.  This is just a slow cultural leftist push designed to devalue traditional structures in other nations, to the point that maybe those pushing for it don’t know what the activists are really having them push for.

Rights don’t come from a UN declaration, either, but that’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the statist mind.

And finally, via ZeroHedge – irony…

orwell irony

Life Imitates Farce: Gesture Controls

Posted: June 11, 2015 by ShortTimer in Humor

Via Drudge, from CNBC:

From BMW’s perspective, the new 7 Series sedan will take luxury and technology to a whole new level—one that includes gesture controls so drivers can adjust the radio and other in-car systems with a wave of their hand.

I’ve heard about this design before.  Douglas Adams wrote about the idea in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

A loud clatter of gunk music flooded through the Heart of Gold cabin as Zaphod searched the sub-etha radio wave bands for news of himself. The machine was rather difficult to operate. For years radios had been operated by means of pressing buttons and turning dials; then as the technology became more sophisticated the controls were made touch-sensitive–you merely had to brush the panels with your fingers; now all you had to do was wave your hand in the general direction of the components and hope. It saved a lot of muscular expenditure, of course, but meant that you had to sit infuriatingly still if you wanted to keep listening to the same program.

Zaphod waved a hand and the channel switched again.

zaphod beeblebrox

Brian Williams’ Downfall

Posted: February 11, 2015 by ShortTimer in Humor, Leftists, Media

HT Jawa Report.

Merry Patrick Swayze Christmas

Posted: December 25, 2014 by ShortTimer in Humor, Music

It is a standard.

Kurdish TV Parodies ISIS

Posted: October 21, 2014 by ShortTimer in Humor, Iraq, Middle East

It’s not quite Ahmed and Salim, but it’s still pretty good for a shoestring budget.


It’s good to see the Kurds are fighting a local propaganda campaign by mocking ISIS, and the tune is kind of catchy.

Can Anyone Confirm?

Posted: August 17, 2014 by ShortTimer in Culture, Humor, Leftists, Media

That Huffpo Writer Ryan J. Reilly Is An Idiot?

can anyone confirm ryan j reilly 140817

Soopermexican’s on this, as is Jawa Report.  They remind us this is the same reporter who played the fool and got himself arrested at McDonalds and cried about it.

Soopermexican writes:

This guy is a reporter. He actually WRITES stuff to inform OTHER human beings about what OTHER human beings are doing. How could you POSSIBLY do that with any kind of accuracy if you’ve never even SEEN earplugs before? Not only has he never fired a gun, or done a day of work in his life that requires earplugs, he’s never even BEEN AROUND people who do!!!!

Sort of like having a president complete with an entire staff, speechwriters and advisors and none of them can pronounce corpsman.

It exposes an astonishing ignorance of culture and life experience.  What kind of soft-handed delicate flower must Reilly be if he doesn’t even know earplugs when he sees them?

Reilly was probably never even given this talk, or was raised by people who didn’t know the difference:

Meanwhile, over at “can anyone confirm” on twitter, fun is being made.